Cheer Louder than the Bully!

I have been discussing mental health during this week’s set of blogs.  An important way to manage our mental health is to focus on the thoughts that we think to ourselves.

Either we have an inner bully or an inner cheerleader.

Have you ever thought about that?

I went to a virtual women’s conference earlier this week. This was the one time that I was excited about using zoom.

This physician shared that she often questioned if she were supposed to be in the room with important leaders. She reported doing this for a while.

One day she told herself to look around the room and ask herself if others in the room were questioning if she should be there. She told herself that they weren’t. And then she said if they were not questioning her, she wouldn’t question herself either.

And, that unhealthy pattern stopped!

I shared this to say that inner dialogue is something that we all deal with. A lot of us give into our inner bully more than we focus on our inner cheerleader.

Yet, there’s a way to silence our inner bully and to focus on our inner cheerleader!

How do we silence our inner bully? Think about what you are thinking about and why you are thinking about what you’re thinking about!

After I did a live tonight, I realized why I do not like speaking in front of people in a certain setting. It reminds me of childhood experiences in which I associated that environment with fear and discomfort.

Although I enjoy speaking in front of people in other settings, I still find speaking in this setting so distressful. I had people to affirm me but I still was not comfortable with doing this. I didn’t realize it until I shared transformation with public speaking on this live.

So, sometimes the way that we can think about situations can be very deep. It is important to be honest about this.

You might need a therapist to help you to navigate this. Or you could simply journal about this. Whatever works for you.

Create statements of affirmation about that situation.
When we discover that our inner dialogue is bullying us, we have to shut her up!

When I speak in front of people, I tell myself:

“They want to hear what I have to say”

“My voice matters”

“I know what I’m talking about”

When a situation does not go the way that I want it to:

“I am grateful for this experience because of . . .”

“I learned . . . from this situation”

“This is not the end”

Some Biblical affirmations could include:

When I feel weak – “God’s power is shown strong in my weakness.”

When I feel friendless – “I know if I am friendly, I will have friends”

When I feel lonely – “God is with me and I know that I am never alone.”

When I feel defeated – “Because God is with me, I will overcome this situation.”

How to get affirmations to stick?

Repeat those affirmations to yourself over and over.

When you find that inner bully showing up, it is important to repeat those affirmations to yourself.

Write these affirmations out and put them somewhere where you can read them.Record these affirmations and play them to yourself over and over.

Let’s make our inner cheerleader cheer louder than our inner bully!

—If you need help with creating affirmations, you can email me at

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